Papa Caleb: I no go get peace because of say I live for yard, mama Caleb wetin happen again?

Mama Caleb: you dey ask me? Ask this useless girl wey open leg carry 9 Months course.
Papa Caleb: Nkitae wetin happen? Who carry belle for this yard?

Nkitae: oga I no know, I just dey vomit aunty say I don carry belle.

Mama Caleb: *she descend on the girl with slaps* confess, confess. Who give you belle? If you no talk I go kill you for this house.

Nkitae: *crying* aunty I go talk oh! *she point towards papa Caleb* na papa…. *everybody shout for the yard -heeeeiiiii!*

Papa Caleb: shut up there! Na em make you no get sense, mama Caleb em fit be fever dey make am vomit and if na belle you don die Nkitae. Mama Caleb baf go shop make this girl no make you loose your customers oh, Nkitae go baf. Two of us dey go hospital now now!

Mama Caleb: papa Caleb, make em no be belle oh! I don talk my own, her mama don tell me say make she no get belle.

Mama Caleb angrily went inside the room, people who came out to watch how fowl yansh will open started hissing and going inside their rooms.

Papa Caleb na whatsup man oh, I just jack my cup go brush teeth for backyard, after brushing mouth. I came back and took my bath, then ate. Locked my door and went to my mini supermarket.

I was in my office when Olamide came in scratching his head like someone who impregnated someone’s daughter, hope is not what am thinking. I didn’t even wait for him to greet me.

Me: Olamide, Month never end and I nodey borrow money without collateral. So, just reverse if na money make you enter my office.
Olamide: oga no, I no wan come borrow. I wan come introduce you to one online business wey go make you double your money, the name na MMM. Make more money, na the online platform wey go make you turn your one million to two million for a Month.

Me: tell me something, Olamide I no know say you get sense until today. So, how I go take register. See my phone here, I wan start the business with 10k first *your salary sha…* when them pay me, I go come use 100k.

Olamide: *he start smiling* you go give me your phone, my run am for you.

I gave him my android phone and he went away with it, he came back and he instruct me on how the platform work. I was asked to pay someone 10k which I did a mobile transfer to the person, after putting some logistic together. I left my mini-supermarket and went home, on the frontage of the yard I saw Michael and Gabriel discussing seriously about a girl.

Michael love toto pass his life, he can wash your pant so that you will allow him enter.

Michael: youngest landlord *he hail me happily* if you see Cynthia friend, her br*asts na wetin cowbell company go kill themselves to use advertise milk, her yansh na people choice. No man go see that thing reject, the babe murder beauty.
Me: you don start? Gabriel wetin em talk na tru….

My phone started ringing, I brought it out and saw the caller ID as Ugochukwu. My supplier, I first shift go one corner to make the money call.

Ugochukwu: guy, your supply don land oh. Come tomorrow come carry am.

Me: wetin do today? See I dey enter bus now now dey come. I dey come Aba today, just expect me.

I waited a bike and signaled Gabriel and Michael that I will be back, I boarded a bus to head to mile Lagos.

The conductor was a young boy, about fourteen years, he started collecting money from us passengers. The guy sitting next to me gave him extremely torn one thousand naira note, he didn’t notice until he gave everyone change and started counting the money.

Conductor: who give me this tear tear one thousand naira *nobody gree talk, he start suspecting the last guy who paid him. He gave him one thousand naira note also* oga, na you give me one thousand naira note.

Guy1: I no give you one thousand note wey tear, check. The one thousand naira I give you them write am pen *the conductor check and sees it* nwere sense!

Conductor: obukani sense!

Guy1: nwere sense!

Conductor: Obukani sense!