As Jojo tear race, I fall for ground with laughter. I nofit believe my eyes the way the guy dey jump like frog with em tear tear boxer.

Mama Iyawo looked at me and hissed when she saw me laughing out my ass sitting on the ground.
She entered her house, and I got up wiping the tears at the corners of my eyes. I be man, I be man, you go run when you jam toto.

I took the well bucket and fetched water from the well filling my buckets, I went inside my bathroom and took my bath. My phone started ringing, I poured water on my face and checked the ID. It was Emeka, I picked the call.

Me: shop catch fire? Money lost? Armed robbers attack shop? Wetin happen this time?

Emeka: hiaa! Nothing oh. Oga take am easy oh, nothing like that happen for shop oh.

Me: you be mumu oh. So, wetin come happen wey you call?

Emeka: na that fine lady wey come that time, she dey wait for you for shop?

Me: Emeka! Emeka! Emeka!! How many times I call you?

Emeka: oga na three times you call me oh.

Me: you no get sense, you dey allow money to wait. You no want make your salary complete this Month, tell am say I dey come now now.

I nearly wore my trouser before I discovered that I had foamed all over my body, I quickly got back inside the bathroom and lifted the bucket up as water splashes on my body.
I got out of the bathroom and used my towel, wore my jeans and polo. No need of cream and combing, when I return.

I rushed to the shop and met her about leaving, I was quick to get her attention before she got inside her car. She was looking breath-taking and sensually attractive. Her hips and huge buttocks hugged tightly to the trouser she wore.

Me: hi, am Victor the owner of the shop. Are you leaving already? *she didn’t seem to recognize me, I no blame am*

Lady: am Aisha *so you be Alhaji wife, wetin confuse me be say she nodey wear hijab* have my card, send me a message. I will call you later for us to meet, am in a hurry.

Me: thanks, I go do am now now. In fact na MTN dey hang the message for air.

She smiled and my d*ck smiled, it is lucky we are not inside. I would have brought it out and beat some senses into it.

I took a bike and returned home. I met Cynthia chatting with her phone while sitting in the yard pavement.

Me: Cyn Cyn baby, Cynthia dorling. The finest Cynthia in Africa.

Cynthia: Oga landlord dicky, the biggest and stingest d*ck in Africa.

Me: ah ahh! Take am easy Cynthia, someone cannot play with you again?
Cynthia: you wan use praise and worship bribe me, when you suppose shake body so that I go arrange the babe for you.

Me: you like money I no know oh, so na how much you go collect to carry am come my room?

Cynthia: *she clear her throat* marching ground five hundred naira, transportation two hundred naira, sweet talking her 100naira, to transport her to your room another 200hundred naira?

Me: come again? Which tribe you say you from again? Igbo or Ikwerre. Which one be marching ground again? The ground wan escape or wetin?

Cynthia: when you get the one thousand naira, you go see am for your room?

And the babe legit die, I know Cynthia will spoil everything if I didn’t dance to her tone. I gave her the one thousand naira commission, she got up from her chair and hugged me, my d–k no even react sef.

Cynthia: oga landlord boo, finest oga landlord in town. My baby, you too rich biko. Go your room, wear your condom do enough press up. I dey go carry am come your room right away.

She went inside the yard and I entered my room, I opened my fridge and drank fearless. Ready ten packs of condom for under pillow, I did ten press ups for the impeding ten rounds.

Me: this girl go hear am!

Voice: who go hear am?