Ugochukwu: that one no be wahala, em get one strong native doctor I know. The guy don make many people rich scatter, the source legit die.

Me: legit die? I dey serious. Make we dey go na, I dey ready to go any length even if na to sacrifice you get the money as long as you no go produce counterfeit.

Ugochukwu: is your brain aware of your mouth, we no be brothers no think am oh. First arrest my belle before we go.

Me: you and food ehnn… una nodey waka the same road, my go buy food, because I know say the soup I keep for fridge don spoil.

Ugochukwu: hope say no be road side vendor you dey go buy am? I nodey eat from public pot. Enter Genesis buy better food bring come.

Me: who tell you say you be my girlfriend? Even if you be my girlfriend, na kitchen you suppose dey, dey pound pepper and dey slice onions to cook for us.

Ugochukwu: you no serious, I don go my house.

He got up from the sofa and picked up his phone, I held his hand and begged him to sit back.

I promised to go to Genesis and buy his food, my use 1, 500 go buy food for Genesis when I fit use 5, 00 buy the same thing.

I had a plan while going out, I was about leaving the yard’s frontage when Cynthia called out to me from a distance.

She was coming out of the yard with bumshort and crop top, looking breathe taking that day. She was radiating with smile and wicked grin telling me that I am very stingy, na she sabi sha.

Cynthia: *her hands up* youngest landlord, international landlord! Where you go na, we no see you for weeks now.

Me: youngest Cynthia! International Cynthia!! you no see me for weeks now, as my mother or girlfriend? *she start laughing* why you come dey laugh? No tell me say laughing virus don enter my yard.
Cynthia: wetin person tell me about you do me to laugh, so youngest landlord free toto carry you go soldier yard?

Me: amebo! No mind your business oh.

Sandra came out of the yard, I know very soon my tenants will soon appear to hear the full gists, na only wetin them sabi.

I quickly hurried away.

Sandra: wetin you say oga landlord go do for soldier quarter?

Me: Sandra! Your rent dey expire next week, I no wan hear story oh.

I warned her before climbing the waiting bike and we zoomed off, I later dropped from the bike and took keke going to Genesis road. I came down and entered inside the fast food, walked to those people on seats.

Me: good morning, pretty girl.

Waiter: you are welcome sir, what would you like to order?

Me: take away plate.

Waiter: sir, I no understand. Wetin you mean by take away plate?

Me: I wan buy una take away plate two.

Waiter: sir, we nodey sell am.

Me: abeg, take this two hundred naira for two.

Waiter: *she eyed the money* my just help, na pity I dey pity you oh. We nodey sell am *she collect the two hundred for help too? Thunder strike you* oga take.

Me: thank you.

I took the take away and one of their bag, took keke to mama Genesis road side vendor.

The place was like town hall as everyone is busy buying and eating.

Me: mama Gen Gen, give me fried rice and two laps of fried chicken.

Mama Genesis: customer, my put how many places?

Me: no put am for that take away, put am here.

I gave her the two take away, and she put my orders in them and returned it.

Madam Genesis: customer customer, who you wan deceive na?

Me: them never born the person, no mind your business oh.

I hissed and left that place, I got back to the yard and met Ugochukwu drinking malt that I kept inside my fridge. This guy na wa oh for you oh, I removed my own takeaway from the bag and gave him his own.

Ugochukwu: yowa! Na now you come *he bring out the takeaway plate and open it* this fried rice no resemble Genesis fried rice……..